borderline–girl:

What I mean when I say….

1. “I’m fine”……”Please ask me more, please see through this pain and ask me, force it out of me, make me tell you, please”
   
2. “k”…..”I currently feel really upset, angry or disappointed at you“
   
3. “Sorry”……”I am self aware. I know what I say and do upsets you, I know that you get annoyed at me. I wish I wasn’t this way but I can’t help it”
   
4. “Forget it”……”OH MY GOD PLEASE SEE THAT I’M NOT OKAY!!!”
   
5. “Bye. ”……”Oh so you’re leaving? Great, I’m going to be left here wondering what I did wrong. Don’t worry if I split on you, heh” 
   
6. “It doesn’t matter”……”This is the most important thing to me currently but I can see you think I’m being dramatic again so I’ll stop talking”
   
7. “Message me. Please…”……”I am seriously freaking out right now, I need reassurance and without it I’m going to wind myself up even more”
   
8. “I’m gonna go….”……”I perceive that you have had enough of me or are not able to cope with me, so its best that I leave, even though I don’t really want to and you should stop me, please?”
   
9. “I hate you!!”……”I love you but I just can’t deal with the intense negative emotions you’ve made me feel probably unknowingly, I’ll have forgiven you soon though so don’t take me to heart”
   
10. “I love you”……”The positive emotions I feel towards you are so intense and so deep that I can’t even comprehend how to communicate them. Theres too much to say and it would take a lifetime to make you see what I you truly mean to me”
11. “Hug me?”……”Theres something serious going on for me right now. I need support in a physical way, just hold me, you don’t even need to talk to me, just hold me as long as I need”
    
12. “Please don’t leave me”……”Everybody I have ever loved has left me, literally. Everybody. Nobody sticks around. Ever. You’ll need to prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re not going to do that, and even then I might not believe you”
    
13. “I’m so sad”……”These feelings are so overwhelming, I can’t even function right now. I can’t see any hope for the future, I can see nothing other than this emotion right now. I will never be happy again”
    
14. “Nobody ever takes me seriously”.…..”People invalidate my feelings constantly.
    
15. “Please don’t ignore me”……”Under ANY circumstances do NOT ignore me. EVER. Its actually really abusive”
    
16. “I can’t cope”……”I am ridiculously overwhelmed, I’m probably dissociating right now”
    
17. “Help”……”This is literally an emergency. I will not ask for help from anybody, I feel like I’m not important enough to get help. I feel unworthy”
    
18. “I need some space for a bit”……”If you don’t get the fuck away from me right now I’m likely to lose my temper and take it out on you, so please back off, I’ll come to you full of apologies when I’m done being irrational”
19. “I was worried about you”……”My world ended, I thought you were dead or injured or you’d abandoned me like everyone else. My brain was telling me so many things, the thoughts were terrible, intrusive, paranoid.
    
20. “I’m borderline”……”I’m intense, I’m needy, I’m paranoid, I’m dependent, I have maladaptive coping strategies, I can’t regulate my emotions, I’m probably this way because of an intensive childhood trauma or historical abuse, I sometimes see and hear things when I’m stressed, I have addictions, I need constant reassurance and will probably get angry at you regularly if we get close. Oh and sometimes just for fun I will switch from loving you to hating you for no reason and it could last a while”
    

If you relate then please pass these translations on to any neurotypicals who you feel may benefit